January 2, 2010

Hard as Hell...

I went to bed really early last night.
The cravings were killing me.
Not literally, but almost.
I nearly came to tears as the desire for a cigarette consumed me.
But I did not give in!!

As I slipped into my bubble bath - I craved one.
Before I went to bed - I craved one.
When my eyes opened to a new day - I feigned one.

When did my whole life turn into smoke??
I have been told the first day is the hardest.
Today, day Two, is hard as hell.
And if you have ever read the bible and learned anything about hell...
Then you KNOW this is HARD!!!!!
I try to keep my self busy-
I got up and at 8a.m. blew leaves and raked!!!
I have read half a book, and dusted and vaccumed.
My tree is still up but I will have to save that for Monday.
If I do all of my projects in one day- boredom will make me fall of the wagon.
Now I am blogging.

I bet this poor guy is on day 3. I can't imagine what tomorrow is going to be like.
I am struggling here.
There are tears running down my face.
OH MY I have turned into pookie the cigarette head !!!!
Ok OK . Pull your self together Misty!!!!
(Deeeeep Sigh) I'm ok.
Just had a moment.
Thank you for letting me vent.
The Craving has passed and I am drying my face now.
I pray that tomorrow is better.


  1. Oh Misty...
    Sweetie hang in there girl. You can do it. I know it is hard, all (3) of my kids have gone through it. They range in age from 29-33, and they say the same thing. Somedays are so hard Mom. They all quit cold turkey, and my youngest son is now 2 years plus smoke free. My daughter always said that was her desert after meals, that she so looked forward to it, but you can do it. I have seen it done.

    I will share with you what our family just went through. We just lost our 33 year old niece to squamous cell cancer. The dentist found a place on her tongue 18 months ago when they were going to pull one of her wisdom teeth. It turned out to be cancer. (Yes she was a smoker) and wish she could have undone the damage. The cancer grew from her tongue, to her jaw, to her neck and into her spine. It was awful Misty. You have daughters, so you hang in there and do this for yourself and for them. They need you sweetie.

    Email me anytime you need to talk. I will help be your support system. Wipe those tears and find another chore to do. Take up another hobby. Idle hands are such trouble. Do you like lollipops, try some of those. Something in your hand anyway.

    Thinking of you. Country hugs sweetie, Sherry

  2. Stay strong... YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!! ~ Theresa

  3. Oh sweety, I feel for you. Fortunately I don't know what it feels like to go through what you are going through, unless it's anything like dieting and cutting back on calories. That's hell too, and makes me grumpy as all get out. You blog all you need to if it helps keep you away from what you are trying to kick. I'll pray for strength for you. Hang in there, cry if you feel like it, and definitely vent if you need to. I'm pulling for ya! Hugs!Carol

  4. Hang in there. You can do it! Your complexion will love you for it. Smoking adds wrinkles. Your clothes and home and car will no longer smell like stale cigarette smoke. Your lungs will thank you. Put the money you would spend on cigs in a piggy bank and think of something extravagant you'd like and buy it for yourself!

    I quit smoking 25 years ago (probably more but the years all start running together, LOL) cold turkey. It's not easy, I know, but you CAN DO IT!!!


  5. LOLLIPOPS LOLLIPOPS LOLLIPOPS!!! I will even send you the tree!!! YOU can do it!!!



  6. Oh Honey. I know, well maybe I should say I can try to imagine (and probably still not come close)this is hard! But your doing so well, fighting so hard. Don't let it win, don't let it beat you. You're so strong and your going to be so proud in the end. When it's all over, you're going to feel like you can do anything.

    I'm praying for you. Hugs...Tracy :)

  7. Misty, This is what I did when I quit. Everytime I wanted "the X" I would run up and down stairs. Then of course I could not breathe.....hence the not wanting at that moment. I will be praying for you dear girl. I know you can do it! Keep on venting ........ we all care and are pulling for you.
    smiles, alice

  8. C'mon!!! Yes!!! You can do it!! I'm so impressed that you haven't fallen off the wagon, dig those nails into the rails and HANG IN THERE MISTY!!!!

  9. Hang in there....you can do it. One word of advise though, if you do fall off the wagon, just get up and try, try, again. Everyday will get better, I know from experience.

  10. You poor thing... I quit in 1983... it wasn't easy... but well worth it as I look back... may the force be with you doll!

    wishing you New Year blessings... Dixie

  11. You can do it! I wish my hubby would quit! I will keep you in my prayers fellow Conroe neighbor! hugs!

  12. I know that you will conquer this.... I know from my parents how hard it was for them.... I know you will quit and be so proud of yourself.

  13. Remember that every day you go is another day behind you. Sometimes you may need to think in minutes. Every minute you go without a cigarette is another minute behind you. It does get easier I promise.
    And, congratulations you are doing great!

  14. Oh dear, this will be the hardest, most rewarding thing you have ever done! I have heard that if you fill a jar with old butts and water, then when you feel the urge, open it and smell it, it will make you quit! I don't know if it works but anything is worth trying if it does the trick.
    If I can be of any support, please don't hesitate to ask, we can do stuff online, start a new project, visit, sing, dance, anything if it helps you quit smoking, you are doing great so far!
    Margaret B

  15. You can do it! I know, everyone probably says that. But it's true. I quit 11 years ago and even though it might be hard for you to believe right now, I don't even think about cigarettes anymore. Seriously, months go by and I don't think about a cigarette unless I'm praying for my 19 year old son who has decided to smoke (UGH! I quit for him - when he was little he has for it as a birthday gift). I'm praying with you. YOU CAN DO THIS! Happy Silver Sunday. Blessings... Polly

  16. Keep on trudgin. Not sure how cold turkey works for some. Must be so very, very difficult. Best wishes ~ Angela


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